The Washington Post

Unfortunate young contestant in ‘Hot Dog Derby’ eats it

Grown-up fans compete in Friday’s Hot Dog Derby at Kansas City’s Kauffman Stadium; on Sunday, it was the kids’ turn. (Jamie Squire/Getty Images

At home games Friday through Sunday, the Royals stage a “Hot Dog Derby,” with three contestants dressed as the ballpark snack with either mustard, ketchup or relish. On Sundays, the honor of competing in the race is given to kids.

On this Sunday, the kid racing as Mustard may have been too small for his britches, because they kept falling down. Which meant that he kept falling down, the poor kid.

And he was winning! Oh, it’s just not fair. In the clip below, you can see that a stadium employee helps him to his feet, but does not help get his pants up, which just causes the whole amusing sad spectacle to repeat itself.

From the clip, it’s apparent that Relish was able to take advantage of Mustard’s mishap and cruise to the win. According to the Royals’ Web site, this increases Relish’s win total in the three-way series to 20, with Mustard and Ketchup tied at 17. Just a shame — it really should be Relish 19, Mustard 18, Ketchup 17.

The Royals’ Web site also tells us this about its golden gladiator:

Mustard is the “Hot Dog” of the bunch. Known for his confident and sometimes surly attitude, he has always raced with a chip on his shoulder and his “win at all cost” tactics leave fans wondering what he’ll do next.

Well, I think we now know why Mustard is sometimes surly (although surely not as surly as this other beloved character). In this case, the issue wasn’t the chip resting on his shoulder but the pants that refused to stay around his waist. With any luck, the thing he does next — or, at least, what the next kid who gets to be Mustard does — is stay upright, and run away with the dang thing.

This former editor and part-time writer at The Post is now happy to prove that if you combine 'blowhard' and 'blaggard,' you get 'blogger.' He previously had used 'Desmond Bieler' as his byline, but feels that shortening the first name to 'Des' nicely conveys his ever-decreasing gravitas. He also covers Fantasy Football.



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Des Bieler · August 10, 2014