Comedian Joan Rivers died today at the age of 81. Rivers made a living critiquing celebrities and their fashion sense (or lack thereof) and she didn’t leave famous athletes out of the mix. Here are just a few of her most memorable sports-related one-liners.
“Most women aren’t secure enough to date a man with bigger breasts. You go Cameron,” Rivers said (via E! Online) about baseball player Alex Rodriguez when he was seeing actress Cameron Diaz.
“It’s a little too old, mostly black and not accomplishing anything. I’m surprised it doesn’t play for the Lakers,” Rivers quipped (via Boston.com) about Rajon Rondo’s zebra-print jacket he wore in the 2011-12 playoffs.
“Did you know when Johnny was little, every morning his parents would drive him 16 miles to skating practice. Isn’t that amazing? What’s really amazing is that they also went back and picked him up,” Rivers joked (via E!) about Olympic figure skater Johnny Weir, whose flamboyant outfits made him a frequent target on her show “Fashion Police.”
“This picture is such a sweet moment. After dealing with all the crying, screaming and spitting up, David sticks a bottle in Victoria’s mouth and spends some quiet time with the baby,” Joan quipped (via E!) about a photo of David Beckham after his daughter Harper was born. Beckham’s wife Victoria was a frequent butt of Rivers’s jokes.
“She looks like she’s got a pimp sitting in the car with the air conditioning running. Look at that cleavage. She must have just had her bra restrung!” Joan said (via E!) about a very tight and revealing outfit worn by tennis champion Serena Williams.
Rivers wasn’t always so acerbic, however, she had a sweet spot for several sports stars, including many of her targets. Take Beckham, for example, when Rivers and her “Joan Rangers” ranked the most stylish athletes in March 2013, Rivers made herself the butt of the joke instead of the athlete.
“I’m actually very similar to a soccer ball: I’m leathery, I’ve got spots, and I’ve been kicked around a lot,” she said (via MizHollywood.com).
Rivers also spelled out her love for basketball player Amar’e Stoudemire, who came in at No. 14 on her list. “I love him,” Rivers said (via MizHollywood). “He’s like hot sauce on a Matzoh ball.”
Another of her favorite athletes was polo star and Ralph Lauren model Nacho Figueros, No. 12 on the list: “He could be the face of herpes,” Rivers said (via MizHollywood). “No one would care.”
While female athletes didn’t fare as well when it came to Rivers’s affection, Maria Sharapova was a standout. Rivers named her the second most stylish athlete of all time, describing the Russian-born tennis star as, “The hottest thing since Chernobyl.” (Via E!)
Several athletes returned the love/humor by appearing alongside her on “Fashion Police,” including Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte, Olympic hurdler and bobsledder Lolo Jones, UFC champion Ronda Rousey, her basketball crush Stoudemire, NFL star Dennis Pitta, boxer Laila Ali, NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon, NBA stars Matt Barnes and Darius Morris, NHL player Sean Avery, WWE divas Nicki and Brie Bella, NFL legends Terry Crews and Deion Sanders, NFL standout wide receiver DeSean Jackson and even some of the targets from the above one-liners. Rondo and New York Giants star Victor Cruz, whose team she once compared to a feminine hygiene product, happily appeared on the program.
Athletes who didn’t get a chance to join Rivers on the show also have shown their love for the legendary comedian. Los Angeles Lakers star Nick “Swaggy P” Young was an admirer. He posted a photo of himself with a wax statue of Rivers on Instagram earlier this year.
Young captioned the photo: “Older the berry, sweeter the juice. What’s good Joan?” Rivers might still be smiling at that one.
But maybe it’s ex-WWE star The Iron Sheik, who best sums up the public’s collective thoughts. And all it took was a single tweet.
JOAN RIVERS I LOVE YOU FOREVER
— The Iron Sheik (@the_ironsheik) September 4, 2014