Guard your arteries. The Wisconsin Timber Rattlers of Appleton, Wis., unveiled two new stadium snacks that will probably kill you — the “Big Mother Funnel Burger” and the “Grilled Cheese Bacon Cheeseburger.” The minor league team’s executive chef Tim Hansen unveiled the new creations on Twitter this week, allowing you to first feast your eyes on the photos of these plated heart attacks before they hit your stomach.
— TimothyMichaelHansen (@ChefTimHansen) February 27, 2015
Grilled Cheese Bacon Cheeseburger. Wisconsin Timber Rattlers 2015 pic.twitter.com/MxqnWFkIAB
— TimothyMichaelHansen (@ChefTimHansen) February 26, 2015
The funnel cake and beef pairing may sound totally unique, but this is America, my friends, land of State Fairs, so of course it’s been done before! In fact, one hit the streets this month as part of the menu at the Florida State Fair in Tampa that ran from Feb. 5-16.
Simply called the Funnel Cake Burger, it’s a beef patty with bacon, accompanied by cheese, lettuce, tomato and pickles, sandwiched between two crunchy glazed funnel cakes, The Tampa Tribune reported. A calorie count wasn’t available, but it seems logical to this type of monster burger in the, “Yeah, I’ll split this with my family” category.
The same rule should probably also be applied to the grilled cheese burger. The very nature of this monstrosity makes it at least three meals in one, with two separate grilled cheese sandwiches serving as the buns to a full-sized bacon cheeseburger.
The Timber Rattlers, the Midwest League affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers, kick off their home games this season on April 12. Bon appetit.