It’s April Fool’s Day. Here’s all the news that fooled your mom today.

No, Tom Brady isn’t in a full-body cast after getting fooled by a Michael Jordan crossover during a pickup game:

No, the Texans’ J.J. Watt isn’t running for mayor of Houston:

Adding his hat (well, helmet) into an already crowded ring, Texans defensive end and 2014 NFL Defensive Player of the Year J.J. Watt announced today that he’ll be running for Mayor of Houston, instantly vaulting to front-runner status.  Citing Arnold Schwarzenegger as his political role model, he vowed to tackle – literally – Houston’s pension, pothole, crime, and traffic problems, saying he expected them to be far easier than many of the offensive linemen and running backs he’s had to deal with.  He specifically warned the firefighters that he may have to “get physical” and “bring the hurt” in pension reform negotiations, a remark that sent them scrambling to rethink their position.

No, the Colts won’t be wearing all-white uniforms this season:

No, the Blazers aren’t getting a retractable-roof stadium:

Try harder, Julian Edelman: