Sepp Blatter, apparent FIFA president-for-life. (Fabrice Coffrini/AFP/Getty Images)

Sepp Blatter is expected to win election for another term as president of FIFA next week, despite two of his rivals for the position, including former FIFA player of the year Luis Figo, reportedly stepping aside to give more votes to a different candidate. This situation is dismaying to many outside of the soccer governing body’s inner circle, including John Oliver.

But the comedian at least has an impressive soapbox from which to air his grievances: his “Last Week Tonight” show And so it was that the Brit, who has taken issue with Blatter’s governance before, really let the 79-year-old FIFA chief have it.

[Blatter, soccer’s dark prince, again escapes FIFA scandal]

Oliver’s segment on his weekly HBO show, most of which can be seen here, included the following observations:

  • Blatter is like NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, except more like “Roger Goodell’s [profane term for anus]”
  • The FIFA head once suggested that women’s soccer could increase its popularity if the players wore “tighter shorts
  • Blatter’s organization is under scrutiny for corruption involved in the awarding of the next two World Cups to Russia and Qatar
  • Temperatures rise to 120 degrees in Qatar, so “the only place less appropriate to host a World Cup would be the actual surface of the sun — although, to be fair, the sun has a much better human-rights record than Qatar does”
  • A hairless bear would be a better candidate to run FIFA
  • Blatter’s campaign strategy, which is to simply stand by the work he has already done for the organization, is like a puppy standing by the mess he made while his owners were away

Other than that, Oliver thinks this guy’s been doing a heck of a job! Seriously, though, or rather un-seriously, it seems like the only thing anyone can do about about Blatter’s never-ending control of FIFA is crack increasingly insulting jokes about it.

Other than that, who’s up for a boycott? For more of Oliver lambasting Blatter and what FIFA has become under his watch, here is a “Last Week Tonight” segment from just before the 2014 World Cup:

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