Nobody, but NOBODY, has crushed FIFA and Sepp Blatter better and more relentlessly than John Oliver on his HBO show.
He loves soccer and loathes what Blatter has done to it and has said so, most recently on Sunday night. The FIFA situation had gotten so bad that he vowed to drink Bud Light Lime if World Cup sponsors succeeded in pushing Blatter out.
“Please, make Sepp Blatter go away. I will do anything. Adidas, I will wear one of your ugly shoes that make me look like the Greek god of aspiring DJs. McDonalds, I will take a bite out of every item on your dollar menu, which tastes like normal food that was cursed by a vindictive wizard. And I will even make the ultimate sacrifice. Budweiser, if you pull your support and help get rid of Blatter, I will…personally drink one of your disgusting items…It can be a Bud Light. I will even drink a Bud Light Lime, despite the fact that all the lime in the world cannot disguise the fact that this tastes like a puddle beneath a Long John Silver’s dumpster.
“But I will do it. I will drink one, making eye contact with the camera, and I will say it was delicious. Because if you get rid of the Swiss demon who has ruined the sport I love, this stuff will taste like [expletive] champagne.”
He got his wish Tuesday, when Blatter stepped down, and had a one-word tweet:
Bottoms up! (Here’s his commentary, with the usual warning about profanity.)