Partick Thistle, a club in Scottish soccer’s top division, has introduced a new mascot and, um … yeah.

I have questions, namely: WHAT IS THAT HORRIFYING THING? But thankfully the BBC exists to get to the bottom of such things, going straight to the source with an exclusive Kingsley interview while also talking to Stuart Drummond, who once portrayed H’Angus the Monkey for Hartlepool in England and is thus an expert on such matters:

Stuart was also pretty worried about the effect that Kingsley may have on young fans.

“Rule number one for mascots is to give children plenty of hugs. This thing looks like it is going to eat them.”

The mascot community is said to be a tight-knit group, but it seems Kingsley may be set for the cold shoulder.

“I very much doubt Kingsley will be welcomed warmly into the mascot clan for fear of bringing shame on the good name of mascots.”

Kingsley has told Newsbeat that he thinks H’Angus is being a bit mean.

He told us that “everyone is welcome to their opinion but I’m sure if H’Angus got to know me he would realise that I’m just as cuddly as all the other mascots.

“I was out in Glasgow today and gave out loads of hugs so I’m sure none of the Junior Jags will be too scared at the start of the season.”

But seriously, STAY AWAY FROM MY KID, YOU FREAK.