Rob Gronkowski is a man of many talents: catching footballs, spiking footballs and, um, throwing multi-day bashes on cruise boats. One thing he can’t do well is sing, but if you put him in a blonde wig and have him belt out his own lyrics to “Livin’ on a Prayer,” what does it matter?
The folks at EA Sports, having already selected Gronkowski as this year’s “Madden” cover boy, came up with another can’t-miss idea. They dressed up the Patriots’ tight end in classic hair-metal garb, put him in front of a microphone and an appropriately decked-out backing band (including a guitarist sporting the indispensable Flying V), and had him deliver a video game-centric version of the Bon Jovi classic.
“I’ll keep myself open all day/Runnin’ all the routes, and makin’ all the plays and stuff/And stuff,” Gronk warbled in a don’t-quit-your-day-job growl. “I’m sayin’ you should look at the ‘Madden’ team you got/You need a solid tight end, lemme fill that spot/You’ve got receivers, but they’re not quite big enough/So give me a shot!”
Then it was time for the chorus. “Whoa, you’re halfway there/Whoa-o, but you need another player/My giant hands will make us champs, I swear/Whoa-o, with the right amount of flair!”
I’m not sure how many “Madden” players need that much convincing to put the game’s best tight end on their squads, but that’s probably beside the point. Anytime you can combine Gronk with Bon Jovi (whose eponymous lead singer is a longtime friend of Bill Belichick’s), you have to do it.
Gronkowski recently said that he was “definitely a Bon Jovi fan” to Entertainment Weekly. “Actually, he’s around practice sometimes — couple games, too, every year,” the tight end said of the rock star. “This year, I saw him around training camp and I was excited to tell him about the video — doing my Bon Jovi and along with ‘Madden’ words. He was super pumped about it, and I was super excited to tell him.”
As for the singing, though, perhaps Gronkowski should have stuck with air guitar, as he did while onstage with Paul McCartney earlier this year.