The Unicorn Frappuccino, as has been widely established by now, tastes like sour birthday cake and shame. The baristas who are tasked with making it every day loathe the mango-creme pink and blue drink with every fiber of their being. And not only is it the butt of a million jokes on Twitter but also on late-night TV.
“It’s a new drink called the Unicorn Frappuccino. Because the name ‘Sugary Affront to God’ was taken,” Stephen Colbert said on his show Thursday night. “I have no idea how many unicorns they’re grinding up for these things, but I’m guessing PETA is furious.”
He, like The Post, found it telling that Starbucks would highlight the colors, rather than the flavors: “That’s all your food groups right there. Mango, pink, blue, and obviously, topping. The FDA recommends at least three servings of topping a day.”
Then, Colbert did a live taste-test of the drink he saw as “a color I can only describe as tumor.” He took one sip. “Oh, I wish I was dead. It tastes like I French-kissed Tinker Bell.”
A segment on Conan O’Brien’s show had choice words for people complaining about the whopping 59 grams of sugar in a grande version of the drink.
“Does sugar make you feel good? Does fat make you feel good? And aren’t we all going to die in World War III because Donald Trump doesn’t know what he’s doing?” comedian Deon Cole asked. “Then go ahead and drink your giant rainbow milkshake.”
Other celebrities have been trying the drink, too. Katy Perry tasted it on Instagram Thursday, and spat it out after one sip because “I couldn’t handle drinking my own blood.”
People Magazine also asked some top chefs what they thought about the drink, and no one had anything nice to say.
“It sounds … sweet,” Carla Hall of “The Chew” said to the magazine. “That’s just another form of sugar to give our kids, ’cause all our kids are gonna want that. Insert eye-roll.”
When they caught up with Al Roker, he did not mince words: “Well, that just sounds really disgusting. There’s absolutely no reason for that.”
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