You heard it here first. Brian Orakpo is a lock for 29 sacks, Robert Griffin’s first touchdown will be a reception and Niles Paul costs the Redskins a chance at the Super Bowl.

At least if Insider readers are to be believed.

Taking into account the idea that by this point in the preseason, almost everything to say has been said, I asked Insider readers for predictions, with one caveat: It has to be something unique that nobody else is predicting. Your response was impressive; if your team responds like this on Sunday, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Here is your collected wisdom, foreseeing 2012 in all its anticipated glory. With apologies to Niles:

“Brian Orakpo and Ryan Kerrigan combine for more sacks than the entire N.Y. Giants defense, bringing the opposing QB down 51 times behind the line of scrimmage. Rak has an NFL-record 29 sacks, Kerrigan 22.” – SackedLunch

“No defensive line penalties … all season. And Orakpo finally gets the refs to call an offensive holding penalty.” — dcsween

“Redskins lead the league in sacks, but Orakpo has less than 10.” — 8KaboveMSL

“Welcome surprise! 10-6. We win our first playoff game. Lose the second in a nail-biter when Niles Paul drops one uncovered downfield in the open on the final drive.” – jmissale

“Niles Paul will have fewer than 10 catches and no TDs.” – dlhaze1

“In an effort to slow the New Orleans blitzing style and take advantage of the Saints trying to make an aggressive statement in protest over BountyGate, Coach Mike Shanahan will call for a halfback option pass and start the Griffin Era with a TD reception.” — Clandestinetomcat

“On Nov. 22, in the Thanksgiving Day game, RGIII gets knocked out of the game by a Cowboy cheap shot. Kirk Cousins comes in and leads the Redskins to a 35-10 win and a division-leading 7-4 record. Powerful Kool-Aid-induced prediction.” — noonefromtampa

“Billy Cundiff, in the waning seconds of the Dec. 9 matchup versus the Baltimore Ravens, breaks David Akers’s single-season field goal record as the Redskins squeak by in the battle of the Beltway, 20-17. Says Cundiff after the game, “Coach really helped me out by using the final timeout instead of rushing me on to the field.” – SackedLunch

“At least one game will be lost by a missed field goal of 45+ yards. Other than that, kicking will be consistent for 45 yards or less throughout the season.” — brerealtor

“Redskins hire Joe Theismann to teach ‘Bob Griffin’ how to punt by Game 3.” – JoeyDonuts                   

“Week 17, MetLife-owlands Stadium: The Giants and Eagles are tied for first in the division, with second prize a set of steak knives … The division has beaten itself up so badly that second place won’t be good enough for a wild card. Redskins Nation is wracked with turmoil as people have to decide which division rival they hate less, Philly’s “worst fans in the league” versus Eli, Coughlin and two recent titles. The Eagles win the game and division title and head off to an excruciating, embarrassing postseason defeat. The Giants join the ranks of SB winners who don’t make the playoffs the next year. And just down I-95, the Redskins crush Dallas in their season-ending matchup, finishing third in the division and relegating the Cowboys to last place. America wins.” — NateinthePDX

“DeAngelo Hall lets his game do his talkin’, finds his cleats under the sofa before late Sunday afternoon and actually doesn’t slip and get burned once-a-game minimum.” — sailingalong8

“Rex Grossman will replace the struggling Robert Griffin in at least two games this the season to pull out improbable wins against division opponents. Outraged DC fans demand both Mike and Kyle Shanahan be summarily dismissed, unassuaged by the fact that Grossman produced the wins.” – practice

“Expect Shuler and Frerotte Part 2 with Batman and Cousins and don’t be surprised if Raheem Morris is the interim head coach of the Redskins by the time you open your Christmas presents.” — Redskindan44

 “Redskins defense/special teams will score more points than the offense during a regular season game twice in 2012.” — 8KaboveMSL

“Richard Crawford leads the team in INTs.” – irishnj9

“Alfred Morris … 900 yards on the season. That’s my big one.” — dcsween

“Redskins run for over 2,500 yards this season but do not have a 1,000-yard rusher.” — dlhaze1

“Redskins will lead the league in rushing with four players running for over 500 yards (Griffin, Helu, Royster, Morris).” – irishnj9

“Brandon Banks will have three return TDs.” – dlhaze1

“Brandon Banks will score three TDs in a game this year. One rushing, one receiving and one dynamic return!” — irishnj9

 “O-line will allow the fewest sacks in the NFL.” — 8KaboveMSL

 “Inside linebackers have more interceptions than safeties.” — dcsween

 “Redskins lead the league in fourth-quarter TDs during regular season.” – dcsween

“Pierre Garcon finishes the season as a top-five fantasy receiver. Which I think fantasy points are the best measure of production, because they take into account yards and touchdowns.” — zjfr2

“He-who-would-be-Eddie-D requires advance-payment season ticket renewal for ticket to restroom. $3.50 to wash your hands.” — sailingalong8

“Redskins will go 4-2 in the NFC east and miss the playoffs.” — 8KaboveMSL

“Redskins win at least six games. And, if not, it won’t be the dad’s head, it will be Kyle who gets the ax.” – dcsween

I did edit the above for grammar and flow. If you didn’t send in a prediction or see yours above, leave it in the comments. The more unique, the better.