When Becky Krystal, editorial aide for the Food and Travel sections, first laid eyes on the new Cookies and Kreme doughnuts from Krispy Kreme, she just laughed. You can't really blame her.

The new Cookies and Kreme doughnuts: A shotgun marriage in which no one is happy. (Tim Carman/The Washington Post)

The edible merger between the two titans of tooth-tingling sweets has produced a pair of doughnuts that, at least visually, don't flatter either Krispy Kreme or Oreo. The doughnut on the left -- the one piped with an Oreo-flavored filling -- looks as if it was paved with an asphalt of cookie crumbles. The cake doughnut closest to the camera appears to be encased in a butterfly chrysalis, then topped with white icing, more cookie asphalt and a dollop of the same gray cream used to fill the other confection. The creamy dollop in this photo, smushed in transit, reminded Krystal of a brain.

Mmm, tasty, tasty brains. Too bad we're not zombies -- zombies with a single sweet tooth remaining in our rotting skulls.

We conducted a quick taste-test of Krispy Kreme's two entries into the buzzy new doughnut market, and the results were as funny as they were pointed. Unfortunately, the staffers who sampled the doughnuts apparently thought they were logged on to the Internet, because they didn't sign their hand-written comments. (I swear! I'm not trying to protect the guilty here.)

Here's what they had to say about the cake-based Cookies and Kreme doughnut:

'Brought to you by the American Dental Association or, put another way, unconsciously sweet. A mess to look at.'

'Much better without the filling of the opposite" doughnut.'

'I don't have the discipline to avoid something that looks like a bag of Oreos crushed up and heated in the backseat of my car, but I will say that one bite is enough.'

As for the cream-filled doughnut, the critics wrote:

'This one is a sugar overload.'

'Dough doesn't taste quite cooked through! Overwhelming, tongue-coating experience.'

'I don't recall Oreo cookies ever being so sweet.'

Personally, I thought they were too sweet, too, but my bigger issue? Shouldn't a doughnut buried under an Oreo blacktop actually taste like my favorite supermarket cookie? Eating these honkers was like putting your mouth up to an Oreo-branded faucet and gulping down a chocolate-flavored slurry.

Speaking of the influx of designer doughnuts, the Food section will soon take a deeper look at these new (and not-so-new) shops. In the next few weeks, Team Food will launch Doughnut Wars, a deep-fried version of the section's 2008 Cupcake Wars.

 Further reading:

• Holey Moly

• Does your relationship with Oreos extend to its spinoffs?

• Rainbow-colored Oreo a harbinger of more gay advertising