Princeton’s at the top of the U.S. News and World Report list of best colleges, again, followed by Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Stanford, and University of Chicago.

Some people surely agree. Others think the ranking system is flawed, biased, irrelevant, or perhaps all of the above.

For those, we offer an array of ranking options. This way, all the students searching for the right college knowing full well that they don’t want academic rigor, and all those alums who adored their alma mater that no one else has ever heard of, have some alternatives: Anyone can be a judge. No one has to explain their metrics. Everyone wins.

There are rankings for the druggiest schools, the most fun colleges (Clemson), most expensive schools, weirdest college traditions. (A top pick is Oxford, where students walk backward around the quad drinking port “stabilizing the time-space continuum.” BBC explains this, sort of.)

Some illuminating lists don’t get updated, like the one that named Rutgers the hairiest college in the country a few years ago. That’s okay. The research presumably stands.

Applicants can gauge the most dangerous schools as defined by

They can determine which colleges have the dumbest mascots.

Worst food: University of South Dakota.

Wondering about cash? The Brookings Institution offered “A Value-Added Approach to Assessing Two- and Four-Year Schools,” evaluating schools based on alumni salaries. (CalTech, Colgate, MIT were leaders.)

Gawker uncovered the best safety schools, which they defined as “a euphemism for an institution of higher learning that’s a backup for wealthy high school students who are too dumb to go to Harvard.” (Cornell won.)

Princeton Review says Vanderbilt has the happiest students.

Healthiest colleges: It would be so weird if Rice didn’t make the list, right? But it did.

Last year, Playboy ranked the University of Pennsylvania — the Ivy League school formerly known for its academics —  the #1 party school in the country.

And the Daily Caller rolled out its list of the ugliest colleges in America. University of Massachusetts Dartmouth nabbed the top spot, but SUNY Purchase, Hampshire College and the Rochester Institute of Technology were chasing it:

“The campus of RIT is a cold, drab, windswept sea of identically ugly, identically repressive brick buildings in a city where the weather is awful most of the school year,” the Daily Caller noted. “You probably think TheDC chose some especially sad image. Not true! The whole campus is this appalling. It’s central to the whole theme.”

Princeton didn’t even make the list.