Denmark has a lot of things going for it. Last year, the UN’s World Happiness Report crowned it the globe’s happiest country, citing the nation’s commitment to maternity leave, gender equality, biking, and drinking lots of wine when it’s cold outside.
But Denmark has a sex problem. (Re-evaluating that happiness ranking already?)
Well, it’s not exactly a sex problem, per se. It’s more like a baby problem. According to government statistics, Denmark posted a birth rate of 10 per 1,000 residents in 2013 — its lowest in decades. The nation’s birthrate was 9.9 in 1983.
Denmark’s perennially low birth rate places it with Germany (8.33), Japan (8.39) and Singapore (7.72). And the downward trend has left people worried in Denmark. Most couples say they want two or three kids, according to the Copenhagen Post, but one in five couples wind up childless.
On Wednesday, a bold — and hilarious — campaign emerged in Denmark to reverse the trend. For the salvation of the country, a travel company-organized movement called “Do it for Denmark!” wants Danes to act and act now — without precautions. “Denmark is facing a crisis,” the company, Spies Rejser, says. “We are concerned. The fewer Danes means fewer people to support the aging population — but sadly, also fewer Spies travelers.”
Warning: Mildly NSFW video.
But don’t fret, Denmark! There’s a solution.
“Studies show that Danes have 46 percent more sex on [vacation], and because more sex increases the chances for more children, we [call] for a romantic break to save the future of Denmark.”
The Post was unable to independently confirm that Danes have 46 percent more sex on vacation, but the claim that people generally make more whoopi while on vacation does appear plausible, especially if they don’t have kids along. According to a 2004 National Leisure Travel Monitor study, one third of people reported they had more sex while on vacation, and Psychology Today agrees.
So can vacation sex save the Kingdom of Denmark?
Spies thinks it can, so the company has sweetened the deal. According to its promotion, the company will give prizes to couples who get pregnant while on vacations purchased through them. First, the couple must select a “romantic” city — it recommends Paris and Rome — then “let yourself be seduced by the city pulse.”
Afterward, upon successful sex, the couple is to shoot off a positive pregnancy test and medical records to the company. Then they may win three years worth of free diapers.
And just in case Danes are confused by this whole pregnancy thing, the company has offered a helpful how-to. “Use your cycle to identify the most likely time to conceive,” it explains. “Avoid stress. Get a massage. Try yoga. Take advantage of gravity. Lie down for at least 15 minutes after sex.”
“And men,” Spies admonishes, “avoid tight pants. Even if you think it looks good.”