It would have been enough for Elevator-Gate to culminate in a “Saturday Night Live” sketch.
One star-saturated music family has their business tossed in the street like so much dirty mop water, all for a $250,000 ransom, and we sop it up because finally, there is irrefutable proof that there are things — undesirable things — that even perfectionist control freak Queen of Everything Beyoncé cannot control.
The woman videotapes her interviews. She keeps a vault to critique past performances — all of them. If her middle name wasn’t Giselle, it’d be Always in Control.
We sigh, and we make jokes and memes because even if her sister and her husband are at odds, they’re still richer than Croesus, and well, their blues ain’t quite like ours, which is why theirs end up in “Saturday Night Live” sketches and maybe ours surface in a subtweet that no one can decipher, anyway.
We move on. We still pay too much money to see the “On the Run” tour, buy their music, and lament that our two left feet leave us unable to execute the “Single Ladies” dance — still — six years and two albums later.
But they are America’s preeminent rulers of pop culture. Of course it wasn’t enough. And so on the same night that “Saturday Night Live” was busy reinforcing the Knowles-Carters’s hegemonic grip on the zeitgeist, the couple released a trailer for a movie that is “COMING NEVER,” as they so politely reminded us at its end.
The three-minute, 44-second trailer isn’t your average big-budget music video. It became clear something was coming when photographers captured pictures of Bey and Jay on a motorcycle, her in a wedding dress, in April. Most guessed it was just a video for “Part II (On The Run).” It was actually for a full-fledged movie trailer featuring Sean Penn, Don Cheadle, Jake Gyllenhaal, Blake Lively, Emmy Rossum, Guillermo Díaz, and Rashida and Kikada Jones.
The “why” is clear enough: It’s Jay Z and Beyoncé — why would you turn them down if they asked you to be in a trailer for a movie that is never being made? Does anyone turn them down? Ever?
The “how” is not quite as obvious. Much like the secret of how Beyoncé managed to complete an entire visual album without anyone knowing until she was good and ready, the mystique of the “Run” trailer lies in the fact that you know Bey Z spent an epic amount of money to essentially play dress-up and blow things up. They got a bunch of well-respected, highly recognizable actors, one of whom has an Academy Award, to participate, and no one knew about it until it was released Saturday night as people were still tweeting about the “SNL” send-up.
If that wasn’t enough, Saturday, Beyoncé Instagrammed a picture of herself and Solange, complete with this caption: “New Orleans May17th 2014.” Since the Met Gala video emerged, fans have been carefully monitoring the Instagram accounts of both sisters, trying to suss out meaning in what they’ve chosen to post. It had been all old pictures, both from childhood and later photos of them together, furthering the notion that whatever rift existed between them was still present. But with the photo and the statement released by Beyoncé, Jay Z and Solange, Baddie Bey appears to quietly be shutting us all down: