Getting hit in the head by a foul ball or a flying bat is a known risk assumed by any fan attending a baseball game. That makes it difficult to prevail in a lawsuit against a team in the event of an injury, barring some grotesque act of negligence.

But what about an injury due to a flying T-shirt launched from one of those air guns — or, in Kansas City, Mo., a wound sustained by an airborne hot dog fired into the stands by the Kansas City Royals’ mascot “Sluggerrr?”

Don’t laugh. One of those dogs hit Royals fan John Coomer in the eye during a game in 2009. He says the dog caused a detached retina, a pretty serious injury. Here’s how it happened, according to an unusually dramatic slow-motion narrative told with relish by Missouri Supreme Court Judge Paul C. Wilson writing for the full court:

Coomer is a longtime baseball fan and frequent spectator at Royals games in Kauffman Stadium. On September 8, 2009, he brought his father along to watch the Royals host the Detroit Tigers. Only about 12,000 people were on hand to watch the game because it had rained most of the day. With such a small crowd, Coomer and his father left their assigned seats early in the game and moved to empty seats six rows behind the visitor’s dugout.

Shortly after Coomer changed seats, Sluggerrr mounted the visitor’s dugout to begin the ‘Hotdog Launch,’ a feature of every Royals home game since 2000. The launch occurs between innings, when Sluggerrr uses an air gun to shoot hotdogs from the roof of the visitor’s dugout to fans seated beyond hand-tossing range. When his assistants are reloading the air gun, Sluggerrr tosses hot dogs by hand to the fans seated nearby. Sluggerrr generally tossed the hotdogs underhand while facing the fans but sometimes throws overhand, behind his back, and side-armed. …

Coomer and his father were seated approximately 15 to 20 feet from Sluggerrr, directly in his view. After employing his hotdog-shaped airgun to send hotdogs to distant fans, Sluggerrr began to toss hotdogs by hand to fans seated near Coomer. Coomer testified that he saw Sluggerrr turn away from the crowd as if to prepare for a behind-the-back throw, but, because Coomer chose that moment to turn and look at the scoreboard, he admits he never saw Sluggerrr throw the hotdog that he claims injured him. Coomer testified only that a “split second later … something hit me in the face,” and he described the blow as “pretty forceful.”

The judge went on to describe how thrilling the game was.

But to make a long story short: Coomer ultimately was diagnosed with a detached retina and had to undergo surgery to repair it. He sued the Royals. At trial, the Royals argued Coomer assumed the risk of injury from the flying hotdog, just as if it were a flying ball. The trial judge let the jury decide the merits of the argument, and it sided with the team. Coomer appealed.

Here’s how Wilson ruled on June 24.

First of all, he said, this wasn’t a matter for a jury to decide. A question of assumed risk from a flying hotdog is a question of law — not of fact — that belongs in the hands of a judge.

Then, the crucial question: Is a flying hotdog like a flying ball or bat? Here’s the test, Wilson said, citing prior rulings.

Would it ruin or alter the game or take away all the fun to eliminate the balls? Or to use foam rubber balls? Or to put so many screens and barriers around that nobody could see the game? Sure. Of course.

Is the same true for the “antics” of a mascot?

Of course not, Wilson said. You could ban the mascot — all mascots — and the air guns and the hotdogs and it wouldn’t change the game one whit.

In the past, this Court has held that spectators cannot sue a baseball team for injuries caused when a ball or bat enters the stands. Such risks are an unavoidable – even desirable – part of the joy that comes with being close enough to the Great American Pastime to smell the new-mown grass, to hear the crack of 42 inches of solid ash meeting a 95-mph fastball, or to watch a diving third baseman turn a heart-rending triple into a soul-soaring double-play. The risk of being injured by Sluggerrr’s hotdog toss, on the other hand, is not an unavoidable part of watching the Royals play baseball.

The case of the flying hotdog will now return to the lower court.

Watch out Screech.

Here’s the opinion.