Forbes released its list of Hollywood’s highest paid actors of 2014 this week.
Let’s end the suspense: The actors, from highest paid on down, are Robert Downey Jr., Dwayne Johnson a.k.a. “The Rock,” Bradley Cooper, Leonardo DiCaprio, Chris Hemsworth, Liam Neeson, Ben Affleck, Christian Bale, Will Smith and Mark Wahlberg.
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But this story is not about the wealth amassed by the stars of, respectively, “Iron Man,” “Pain & Gain,” “Silver Linings Playbook,” “The Wolf of Wall Street,” “Thor,” “Schindler’s List,” “Argo,” “Batman,” “I, Robot” and “Boogie Nights.”
It is, instead, about some of the terrible, horrible, no good, really bad films made by those highest-paid actors.
The films spotlighted below are among the lowest ranked by critics starring, respectively, Downey Jr., Johnson, Cooper, DiCaprio, Hemsworth, Neeson, Affleck, Bale, Smith and Wahlberg on the Web site Rotten Tomatoes. Undoubtedly, a few have drained $10 from your wallet at the box office — or a few hours of your life on a rainy Sunday.
Enjoy the trip down memory lane.
Robert Downey Jr.
“Johnny Be Good” (1988)
Critic rating: 0 percent
Downey earned $75 million in the past year, according to Forbes, mostly on the strength of his many turns as Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man. But in 1988, he starred in the stinker Anthony Michael Hall vehicle “Johnny Be Good” about a hotshot high school football player. “Even cameos from Jim McMahon and Howard Cosell can’t save this feature from itself, though it isn’t the fault of the cast,” which includes Uma Thurman, Rotten Tomatoes wrote.
“The Tooth Fairy” (2010)
Critic rating: 18 percent
Johnson took home $52 million, building on the strength of appearances in “G.I. Joe” and “Fast and Furious” to produce the reality TV show “The Hero,” according to Forbes. But just four years ago, he played the titular character in “The Tooth Fairy.” Tagline: “You can’t handle the tooth.”
“All About Steve” (2009)
Critic rating: 7 percent
Cooper’s not just the Oscar-nominated star of “Silver Linings Playbook” and “American Hustle” who banked $46 million, according to Forbes, on the strength of his appearance in “The Hangover” films. He is the love interest of Sandra Bullock in the stalking comedy (?) “All About Steve” — filmed entertainment of questionable quality that earned Bullock a Razzie the same year she won an Academy Award for “The Blind Side.”
“Critters 3: You Are What They Eat”
Critic rating: 0 percent
“The Great Gatsby” and “The Wolf of Wall Street” helped put $39 million in DiCaprio’s pocket, according to Forbes. Hopefully that will erase memories of “Critters 3,” a “Gremlins” ripoff the actor starred in six years before he became Jack from “Titanic.”
“Red Dawn” (2012)
Critic ranking: 12 percent
Making $37 million, according to Forbes, for playing “Thor” is pretty great. But when an actor messes with cinema history by starring in a remake of the iconic 80’s flick “Red Dawn,” he’s pushing his luck. Stephen Rea of the Philadelphia Inquirer: “Hobbled by a laughably bad script and a uniformly uncharismatic cast.”
“The Other Man” (2008)
Critic rating: 15 percent
Still starring in thrillers such as “Taken” in his early 60s, Neeson is Hollywood’s resident aging action star, taking home $36 million in 2008, according to Forbes. But every long career has a few duds — including “The Other Man,” the tale of a twisted love affair also starring Laura Linney and Antonio Banderas. Rotten Tomatoes: “Despite the best efforts of a talented cast, ‘The Other Man’ is talky, witless, and tension-free.” Ouch.
Critic rating: 6 percent
The man who will be Batman, Affleck earned $35 million this past year, according to Forbes, and is the Oscar-winning producer and director of “Argo,” which won Best Picture at the Academy Awards in 2013. But a decade ago, he was the man who had to outlive “Gigli,” the poorly received punchline of a film also starring his former flame, Jennifer Lopez.
“Captain Corelli’s Mandolin” (2001)
Critic rating: 29 percent
The man who already was Batman took home $35 million in the past 12 months, according to Forbes. However, he also played a supporting role in the Nicolas Cage/Penepole Cruz misfire “Captain Corelli’s Mandolin” — though, it should be said, a 29 percent critic rating for this film compares well with many other films on this list.
“After Earth” (2013)
Critic rating: 11 percent
“After Earth” bombed stateside but performed well overseas — and Smith got paid $32 million, according to Forbes, making the former Fresh Prince still quite fresh.
“The Happening” (2008)
Critic rating: 17 percent
Wahlberg took home $32 million in the past year — much of it residuals from the 2012 hit “Ted,” according to Forbes. But remember when the man formerly known as Marky Mark had to outrun the wind in M. Knight Shyamalan’s “The Happening“? Those were not good times.