As The Washington Post’s DC Sports Bog pointed out, “South Park” was able to replace Robert Griffin III with Kirk Cousins in time for an episode that trashed Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder on Wednesday night.
The premise: The “South Park” gang decides to launch a Kickstarter campaign to fund a start-up company that does nothing. But even a company that does nothing needs a great name.
What local company recently lost its trademark over concerns that its name is offensive? That’s right: the Washington football team, which Cartman and company eagerly co-op for their start-up.
Company motto: “Go f–k yourself.”
When Snyder shows up to plead for his name back, the South Park-based Washington Redskins are none too eager to comply.
Snyder: “I know I can’t legally make you stop using our name, but won’t you just do it out of decency?”
Cartman: “We can’t just change the name of our company because it’s, like, super-hard. But, hey — from one Redskin to another, go f–k yourself.”
Snyder weeps — a tribute to this commercial’s final shot:
It gets worse.
Snyder complains to NFL Commissioner Goodell, who offers platitudes about “getting it right” — actual sound clips culled from the disastrous press conference about domestic violence he held on Sept. 19.
Snyder: “That’s the most ridiculous nothing answer I’ve ever heard.” He calls a meeting of NFL owners via Skype.
Snyder: “And so I call upon the help of all owners. You cannot let my people be belittled like this.”
Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay: “Man, you don’t want to be dealing with this stuff. Let the Goodell-bot do it.”
Snyder: “The stupid thing isn’t working.”
Baltimore Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti: “Man, that thing hasn’t worked right since we bought it.”
It gets even worse.
Snyder sends the Redskins to destroy Kickstarter to end the South Park-based Redskins funding. They do so, bloodily.
Cartman suspects “that weird little Jewy guy” as the architect of Kickstarter’s demise.
Now, let it be known that “South Park” was not referring to Snyder as “that weird little Jewy guy.” The viewer assumes it — until Cartman points the finger at his Jewish friend, Kyle. (This is likely a roundabout reference to the anti-Semitism charge Snyder leveled at Washington City Paper.)
And then it gets real bad when, before a game against the Dallas Cowboys, Snyder gives a pep talk to his discouraged team.
“We cannot give up,” he says. “We have been through too much together. We have fought Eagle and Bear. And the Eagles only beat us by 3 points! … Don’t let them break you — don’t let them win!”
Spoiler alert: The Dallas Cowboys then play “a lone Redskin” — Snyder in an Indian headband. Alone on the field, he is repeatedly crushed by Dallas squad.
Crowd: “Just stay down, for the love of god!”
Some Twitter reactions: