Young ballplayers dream of winning the World Series. They do not dream of being awarded a 2015 Chevy Colorado by a sweaty car company representative who sounds like he is battling cardiac arrest.
This was the scenario San Francisco Giants pitcher Madison Bumgarner faced Wednesday night after his team defeated the Kansas City Royals in Game 7. Flush with victory, the series MVP marched to a marketing opportunity that soon met defeat at the hands of Chevrolet exec Rikk Wilde.
The brutal transcript included, by The Washington Post’s count, seven “uhs” and four “ums”:
Madison, congratulations. As the official sponsor or, uh, the official vehicle of Major League Baseball, Chevrolet is proud to participate in this, uh, prestigious award. Um. Along with our dealers we are also extremely honored to give back to this sport, uh, by supporting baseball in cities and towns across this nation. At Chevrolet we have, um [awkward pause for breath], we have also been proud of the latest and greatest, uh, technology in our truck lineup which is the all-new 2015, uh, Chevy Colorado. Um. It combines class-winning and leading, um, you know, technology and stuff with, uh, WiFi powered by OnStar. [Wilde notes the car appears onscreen.] It’s sitting there on the screen. To recognize your performance in this 2014 World Series, I proudly present to you your very own set of keys to a brand new 2015, uh, Chevy Colorado.
Twitter was merciless. Yes, there were Rob Ford and Chris Farley comparisons.
Perhaps Wilde should be given a pass. Given deliveries of the 2015 Chevrolet Colorado were recently halted because of safety problems, he did his breathless best.