But how does one explain an owl attacking joggers in Oregon or a hawk smashing through a Missouri man’s bedroom window before knocking over a basket of laundry and posing for a picture with an apparent smile on its beak?
Such causal upsetting of the natural order, I would argue, is truly the stuff of nightmares.
Speaking of nightmares, this primordial monstrosity emerged from the murky depths in February. It didn’t attack anyone, but I’m sure it would have, given the opportunity.
Oh, and a gray whale killed a tourist off the coast of Mexico last month.
And don’t get me started on those two llamas, which didn’t so much attack as defiantly — and skillfully — elude a host of would-be captors.
All of which leads us to our latest animal gone awry (pictured above). The miscreant was captured Saturday by authorities in Paramus, N.J., after they responded to a house call about a “disorderly goat,” according to police.
Multiple witnesses accused the goat of head-butting the door of a residence and running wild in the road, police said. It took three officers to bring the rampaging animal under control, at which time he was wrapped in a curious yellow cape, according to an impromptu mugshot.
The goat — which remains unidentified — was not injured during its apprehension.
“Sounds like the goat was trying to break in to that house,” Victor Amato speculated on the department’s Facebook page. “I hope he was brought to the Police Station and ‘interrogoated.’ ”
(Did you catch that, folks? “Interrogoated” is also making a strong case for the best pun of 2015. It’s sooo good, I’m willing to bet Amato let his goat run wild for the express purpose of using the word “interrogoated” on his local police department’s Facebook page. Nice work, Vic.)
Authorities turned over the alleged offender to animal control and are searching for the little guy’s owner, police said.