Starting Thursday, consumers in the United States can order Pizza Hut’s new Hot Dog Bites Pizza. It’s basically pizza surrounded by a halo of 28 hot dogs, baked right into the crust.
Overall, the pizza portion of the Hot Dog Bites Pizza tasted like any other Pizza Hut pizza. No one loved those hot dogs, though; some people were put off by the very sight of them, which one colleague referred to as toes. Others refused to even come to the tasting, disproving the notion that journalists will eat anything.
To be fair, the Hot Dog Bites Pizza (on sale nationwide June 18) will come with a side of French’s mustard, a condiment we didn’t have on hand. Nevertheless, many reviewers felt it was an appropriate choice for a child’s birthday party or something to cap off a long night of drinking.
Despite the many negative reviews, a couple of the testers came back for seconds. One even had thirds, then tried to come back for more. But all three pizzas purchased by The Washington Post were gobbled up, including some cold slices I left on an office desk. Which goes to show: Even if you don’t like a particular pizza, it’s still a pizza.
Here are some staff reviews:
“Our country has a proud legacy of culinary mash-up innovation: The cronut, the pizza bagel, the turducken. The hot dog crust pizza will not stand among them.”
“Not the worst taste ever, not remotely the worst delivery pizza ever, but visually upsetting.”
“When you play the game of hot dog pizza, you win or you die. There is no middle ground. Also, you don’t win. Yeah, man. There are no winners here. Do not eat hot dog pizza, is what I’m saying.”
“My body is now ready for hot-dog stuffed other foods. Bring on the hot dog stuffed cucumbers.”
“The pizza was dry and congealed; the hot dog ‘buns’ were crusty and mealy, like an overcooked cornbread. But look, most inventions fail. I applaud Pizza Hut for innovating and exhort them to keep trying.”
“Take mediocre pizza, add bad hot dogs and too much dough, and you get this unappetizing attempt at reinventing corporate cousin Kentucky Fried Chicken’s Double Down in pizza form.”
“For those of who think food presentation doesn’t matter — it all gets mixed up in your stomach anyway — this works.”
“I love pizza. I love hot dogs. I did not love this thing.”
“I made it through two of the three pigs-in-a-blanket clustered on my crust. I don’t think I can continue.”