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No, ‘King’ Will Smith and ‘Queen’ Jada Pinkett Smith are not getting divorced

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith earlier this year. (Mario Anzuoni/Reuters)

Despite rumors to the contrary among tabloid reports generated by commoners, one of Hollywood’s most regal couples — Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith — are not getting divorced. Smith made the decree official from his very verified Facebook account.

“Under normal circumstances, I don’t usually respond to foolishness. (Because it’s contagious),” Smith wrote. “But, so many people have extended me their ‘deepest condolences’ that I figured – ‘What the hell… I can be foolish, too!’ So, in the interest of redundant, repetitious, over & over-again-ness … Jada and I are … NOT GETTING A DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Smith offered a smiley-face emoticon to underline the message. Invoking Nathaniel Hawthorne, he added: “I promise you all — if I ever decide to divorce my Queen — I SWEAR I’ll tell you myself! #Dumb People Should Have to Wear Scarlet D’s.”

Within the hour, said queen Pinkett Smith seconded Smith’s emotion with a tweet: “My king has spoken.”

Though it’s not clear exactly what report set the Smiths off — the couple have been dogged by many over 17 years of marriage — Radar Online published a piece called “Secret Split Deal! Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith’s $240 Million Divorce — They Decided To ‘Pull The Plug’” early Monday.

“For Will and Jada, holding it together these past few years has been tough because their marriage has been on life support for a long time,” the publication wrote, relying on an unnamed “insider.” “… They’ve decided to pull the plug in a carefully choreographed manner, [and] agree announcing their split at the end of the summer is the right move.”

Whenever “Smiths split” rumors arise, it bears repeating that the couple seems to have some kind of alternative arrangement that may or not include occasionally, ahem, passing the time with other people, as The Washington Post’s Soraya Nadia McDonald has reported. Pinkett Smith tried to make this point in a 2013 Facebook posting.

[Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith: Monogam-ish?]

“Should we be married to individuals who can not be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom?” she wrote. “Should we be in relationships with individuals who we can not entrust to their own values, integrity, and LOVE … for us??? … Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship … this means we have a GROWN one.”

[Alas, Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale are divorcing]