“None of this is actually happening,” said Stephen Colbert on “The Late Show.” “On the other hand, the one thing we know to be true is that when it comes to Trump, whatever you think is happening — is happening.”
He then advised Trump to flee. “Mr. President,” he said, “they traced the resistance. It’s coming from inside the White House! Get out of there and . . . stay out of there.”
Jimmy Kimmel read through a good portion of the entire anonymous “scorching editorial,” as he put it.
“I have to say, I’m surprised how good a writer Ivanka [Trump] is. I never would have guessed,” he said.
Then, Kimmel got down to the business occupying thousands on social media, the whodunit, one that’s likely to last for however long it takes to get an answer.
Like many others on Twitter, he focused on the word, “lodestar,” which appeared in the op-ed’s penultimate paragraph: “We may no longer have Senator [John] McCain. But we will always have his example — a lodestar for restoring honor to public life and our national dialogue.”
“That’s not a common word, lodestar,” said Kimmel. “Not a lot of people use that word. But you know who does use that word, this guy,” at which point he ran several clips of Pence using the word “lodestar.”
“That’s right. Vice President Michael Elizabeth Pence uses the word lodestar. …”
“…This is gonna drive Trump absolutely nuts,” Kimmel said. “Can you imagine what it must be like to have a job at which almost everyone who works for you thinks you’re a complete idiot? I can. I tell you it’s no fun at all.”
He then turned to Trump’s other nemesis this week, Bob Woodward and his new book about the Trump White House, noting that Trump had said it was “a shame” that someone could get away with “totally” made-up stories.
“And he’s right,” said Kimmel. “It is a shame. It would be like someone knowingly and falsely claiming that the first African American president was born in Kenya and was not an American.”
But Noah probably got off the best line.
“Holy s—. There’s a secret group of people within the White House actively working to curb President Trump, which is wild, because this means the whole time we’ve been dealing with the watered-down version of Trump.”
The host of “The Daily Show” added: “Before this, I knew there was turbulence. But now someone came on the PA system and said, ‘Uh, ladies and gentleman, the pilot is actively trying to crash the plane. But don’t be alarmed, we’re doing everything we can to stop him. Mikey’s got a pretty good choke hold and I’ve had some harsh words with him, so please keep your seat belts fastened and enjoy your peanuts and tax cuts.’”
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