Did you wake up today and think “Aw, blerg, it’s only Wednesday!” Me, too. So here’s a 911 call about a chicken crossing the road. We’ve earned it.

“Hi, um, this is actually not a prank call,” the caller begins, before describing an real-life chicken-crossing-the-road incident in Oregon.

“Is it causing traffic problems?” the Portland police dispatcher responds, perhaps not exactly believing our hero’s opening line.

“Yes,” he replies. “It’s really trying to go into the middle of the road.”

Uh, excuse me, sir, I believe it is actually trying to get the other side. Get it right, pal; this is like the oldest joke in the book.

According to a news release from the Portland Police Bureau (partial headline: “Officers Unable to Determine Chicken’s Intent”), “responding officers were unable to locate the chicken and fortunately there were no traffic crashes related to this unusual report.”