And if it did make sense, you wouldn’t be able to understand it anyway.

The latest thing they are telling us is that our brains are re-wiring to be good at skimming the internet and we can’t read books anymore because our brains aren’t up to it. I’d link to the story, but it’s too long to read. I’ll summarize it instead. U R Dmb.

I think this is both true and hardly new. It started when we turned on the television set in the 1950’s. Sitting on a couch watching it became an ‘activity’. Wait. What, you may ask, is the difference between sitting on a couch watching TV and sitting on a couch reading a book? The answer is the drooling.

And now the nation is all up in arms arguing about how to fix education! Why? We have endless debates about reading scores when all we read now is the name of which kind of cute baby animal is falling asleep on the youtube. Oh, and to get jobs! We need to prepare the millions of American kids to compete for the eleven CEO jobs that collect all the money in the economy. Go kids! If you believe in yourselves, you can all get those eleven jobs! Is that mathematically possible? Yes it is, because we can’t do math anymore either. Just ask a Republican legislator to show you his Obamacare alternative if you don’t believe me.

We still try to educate our kids, and by educate I mean crush them with tedious facts that play no part in the conversations American adults actually have. If the idea of education is to prepare kids for the future, just let them watch TV and waste time on Facebook and watch funny videos and text. Gym class can be thumb dexterity. I could go on, but you didn’t even make it this far.