Or surrender even if you’re not Dorothy. Surrender and slide comfortably into the soothing bath and gentle loving hands of corporate databases and targeted advertising. Feel better already?

Here is a story refreshing at least for it’s straight-up advocacy. And thanks to whomever wrote the headline for clarifying things further. We truly are in a place now where the difference between Onion headlines and real ones is a matter for the connoisseur.

I’ve written before that one of the reasons that the issue privacy is confused and crumbling is because it was never very clear in the first place. Maybe it was one of the un-enumerated rights in the Ninth Amendment and maybe it wasn’t. Who’s to say? But there at least was the supposition that privacy meant SOMETHING. Now, not so much.

That an advertiser cannot even conceive of a situation where shoppers and internet users might not want a ‘database’ of everything they like and do to exist, well, that tells you something has changed. One thing that has already changed for me is I am now reluctant to look up products on the internet because of the hot breath on the back of my neck, the breath of advertisers poised to fill my email inbox in the next 30 seconds.

But hey, some advertisers are generously allowing a ‘“peek behind the curtain” to let consumers see the information in their databases.’! How comforting! And of course they always say you can “opt out.” The “opt out” button is the thing I’m shopping for.