Something weird is happening to the country’s premier purveyors of mass-produced hamburger-like substances.

First, we have McDonald’s, the Godzilla of fast food joints. The mega-chain announced a new Happy Meal character on Monday, a friendly face named “Happy” meant to serve “as an ambassador for balanced and wholesome eating,” according to McDonald’s. That’s great! Wholesome eating is terrific, good for McDonald’s. So what does the new Happy Meal character look like?

Well! That’s certainly not a living nightmare that will terrify children and discourage them from ever considering fruits or vegetables.

Happy, the McDonald’s Happy Meal Box Who Came To Life Because You Didn’t Clean Your Room Last Night, was first introduced in France in 2009 before making its (his?) way across Europe and into Latin America, McDonald’s says.

Meanwhile, stepping away from anthropomorphic terror for a moment, we have Burger King. The company is apparently moving away from the “Have It Your Way” slogan and pitching a new one, Ad Age reports.

The new slogan? “Be Your Way.”

As for why they are moving from “Have It Your Way” to the grammatically-questionable “Be Your Way,” here’s Ad Age:

According to the press release, the new tagline “reminds people that no matter who they are, they can order how they want to in Burger King restaurants and that they can and should live how they want anytime. It’s OK to not be perfect. Self-expression is most important and it’s our differences that make us individuals instead of robots.”
So why bother changing the tagline? Fernando Machado, the chain’s senior VP-global brand marketing, said that while “Have It Your Way” was more about the “functional side” of Burger King, letting customers know that customization was always an option.

This seems like a good time to remind you that in April, Burger King announced the Chicken Big King sandwich with a press released headlined “Burger King Is Not Clucking Around.”

Okay, just out of curiosity, what is going on with Wendy’s these days?

Brands are strange.