Pictured: The moon. (Jason Reed/Reuters)

Police blotters are, in their own particular way, an art form that can distillate local news into something transcendent. They function both as a means for conveying information as well as providing a pithy mechanism for said conveyance. There are tales of sadness, naturally, but the blotters are also filled with stories of people stealing a single tomato (value: $3) and puppies on the loose (“not causing problems, just loose”) and individuals calling the police to report strange sounds that turned out to be a cat getting inside a piano. Over at the Fix, Jaime Fuller has a wonderful look at some of the oddest things that have appeared on the country’s police blotters over the years.