Just look at this lady:
We at Post Nation generally like to refrain from providing specific recommendations on how people should live their lives (I’ve done this once, and it involved wearing too much cologne while committing a crime). But here’s one more: Walk your dog while dressed as an abominable snowman. This is a good life tip.
Why? It’s a fact* that winter is the absolute worst season. Most weather-related deaths come from cold, not hot, conditions, per the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. As the days run shorter, we become deprived of the sun’s much-needed vitamin D. Seasonal affective disorder is also “winter depression.” Have you heard of “summer depression?” No, you haven’t. Some of us have to buy sun lamps because the days run shorter, and it’s too cold to expose our skin outside. The sun existed before electricity and lamps and people, and yet here we are spending money we’ve earned on lamps to mimic the sun, the freest entity in the universe. Because it’s winter.
Additionally, pumpkin-spiced lattes and anything-spiced lattes are not worthwhile reasons to suffer through the misery of cold weather; we could very easily demand those items when it’s warm. Oh, and you can get those lattes in Miami. Where it’s warm. Always.
So, what to do when it’s winter and you have to take your dog outside for a walk? Do what this Wisconsin woman does. Dressing up as the abominable snowman doesn’t just lift the spirits of those trying to make it through another winter — it’s also an extremely clever way to outsmart the elements. We can’t all be Lenny Kravatiz and walk around wearing blankets as scarves (although I may try). Also, extra props to Blizzard the dog for not being frightened by this costume.
Indeed, even in Wisconsin, dressing up as Bumble appears to be just as effective as a hyper-thermal-lined, fancy $400 coat. When asked if she had any complaints about the weather, Bumble responded: “Too warm.”
I rest my case.
*Fact, according to the inclinations of this reporter.