The Washington PostDemocracy Dies in Darkness

Behold, the Santas and elves who got arrested this holiday season

Look, nobody’s perfect, not even Santa Claus and his little helpers.

As is the case during most holiday seasons, regular ol’ mortals dressed up as these — spoiler alert ahead for children — mythical characters allegedly committed various crimes this year.

Aside from arrests of those dressed up as Santa Claus during Black Friday protests and demonstrations against fracking, here is a rundown of North Pole inhabitants who ran afoul of the law this season:

Elf charged with a DWI

A New Jersey elf got so drunk that he passed out while behind the wheel of parked van on Dec. 19.

The elf in question, 23-year-old Brian Chellis, was found by police in a Target parking lot. The van’s lights and engine were on, the music was blasting and there was an open beer can inside, police told NJ Advance Media.

A police officer woke up the elf (dressed in an “Elf on the Shelf” costume), who allegedly reeked of alcohol and also seemed pretty confused as to what was happening, police told the outlet.

The elf eventually took a breathalyzer back at police headquarters, and was charged for driving while intoxicated and careless driving, the outlet reported.

Santa accused of shooting two men; says he was defending Mrs. Claus

A man dressed up as Santa was at a Detroit gas station early Sunday morning when he allegedly shot two 29-year-old men.

“Apparently, there was an argument over Santa’s girlfriend — Mrs. Claus,” Detroit police officer Adam Madera told the Detroit News. “One of the victims ran back to his car, and the guy dressed as Santa Claus must’ve thought he was going to get a gun because he started shooting.”

Two off-duty cops chased Santa on foot. Police said the two victims are expected to recover.

Santa, also known as 26-year-old Marcus Allen Weldon, was at the gas station with a co-worker dressed as Mrs. Claus, defense attorney Gabi Silver said Tuesday, the Detroit News reported.

“He felt he was in danger,” Silver said. “He was trying to protect himself and the woman he was assisting.”

Santa robs a bank

Santa robbed a bank Tuesday morning in Memphis.

The unidentified jolly man was wearing a Santa wig and beard, Memphis CBS affiliate WREG reported. He was described as between 35 and 40 years old, roughly 5 foot 8 inches tall and weighing a rather slim 190 lbs (considering). He was also wearing a blue hoodie.

Santa “left with an undetermined amount of cash inside a black duffel bag,” the station reported.

Santa robs another bank 

A different Santa robbed a different bank in San Francisco on Dec. 13. He walked right up to the teller with a note, and then walked away with money, police told numerous outlets.

Now, a Santa walking into a bank isn’t all that common, except this particular robbery occurred during SantaCon.

“The suspect decided to take advantage of this event dressed as a Santa,” San Francisco police spokeswoman Grace Gatpandan told San Francisco’s CBS affiliate KPIX.

He was able to blend in with the SantaCon crowd in downtown San Francisco. The FBI is involved, KPIX reported.

Santa faces felony arms charge

This Santa had been arrested back in the spring, but we’re including it here because it prompted him to relinquish his North Pole duties.

Mack Gardner stepped down as the town Santa for Elwood, Ind., once word spread that he was charged with a felony firearms charge and faces a March court date, Indianapolis Fox affiliate WXIN reported.

According to police, Gardner, 55, unlawfully gave a gun to his cousin, a convicted felon, the Herald Bulletin reported. Gardner was released from jail in April after posting a $20,000 bond. The cousin told police he had been given the gun for protection, while Gardner said he left it at his friend’s house and never gave anyone the gun.

Gardner’s lawyer Bryan Williams told the paper that there is no legal reason why his client can’t be Santa.

Santas get picked by the city from a pool of volunteers.

“It was nothing that caused us alarm as far as safety of our children and our families,” Elwood Mayor Ron Arnold told the TV station. “Anyone who knows Mack knows he’s a big teddy bear and he makes a great Santa Claus.”