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Congratulations to Labradors, the country’s most popular dogs

( <a href="" target="_blank">Melina Stathopoulos/Flickr</a> )
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What is your favorite type of dog? If you answered, “The last dog I saw, either in person or in a particularly wonderful GIF,” you answered correctly. (If you answered “A cat,” please show yourself out, and also that response makes no sense, imaginary person for whom I am making up answers.)

However, this is the United States, and in the United States we like ranking things, any things, all things, every possible thing. And so it came to pass that on Thursday, the 57th day of the year 2015, the American Kennel Club announced its rankings of the best dog breeds in the United States.

The Labrador retriever came out on top, because Labrador retrievers always come out on top, because Labradors are wonderful dogs, which is why they have topped these rankings for 24 consecutive years now.

However, the Labrador faced a challenge, as we all must face challenges, in that stasis is antithetical to the human or canine experience, one built upon forward momentum and growth and evolution, or at least an interest in getting your kids a dog that is not the same dog as the one the Andersons have, because that dog does not stop barking when they walk him in the snow, and quite frankly you work a long day and you deserve to come home to some semblance of quiet and calm, and the last thing you need is a dog that will not stop barking in the snow, and yes, the kids promised to walk the dog, but they promised to feed the Betta fish and change its water, and you all remember how long that lasted. Which is another way of saying that bulldogs are on the rise, reaching No. 4 on the list for the first time.

“The Lab truly is America’s dog, but the lovable Bulldog breeds are clamoring to dominate, ” Gina DiNardo, vice president of the American Kennel Club, said in a statement Thursday. “Watch out for an upset next year.”

The runner-up to Labradors was German shepherds, who beat out golden retrievers. Beagles rounded out the top five. And since corgis did not make the top 10 list, it is automatically invalid.

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