CHESAPEAKE, Va. – Comedian Dennis Miller introduced Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney at a rally here Wednesday afternoon, cracking jokes about President Obama and Vice President Biden. Here are some of his laugh lines.

On Biden:

“I was just backstage in the holding room. I had the worst cup of coffee I have ever had in my life. I said to the lady, ‘What’s with this coffee? It is so old and bitter.’ She said, ‘That’s just Joe being Joe.’”

Miller said the coffee was actually great, but he wanted to “put it into Biden a little” because, he said, the vice president “just never shuts up.”

On Obama:

“I am starting to see people notice that it didn’t work out. I have friends who talk about voting for Obama in much the same way they tell me the story about how they took an Ambien and woke up naked outside…. Well, you voted for him. Oh, really? I took it. I went to bed. I woke up naked at the fridge eating Haagen-Dazs and I must have went and voted for him right after that. So I hold no rancor towards the man. It just doesn’t seem to be working out to me.”