“I’m a businessperson, so I will take dramatic action to stop those leaks.”
Anthony Scaramucci on “Fox News Sunday.”
“In response to concerns about conflicts with Chief of Staff Reince Priebus, Scaramucci asserted, ‘I’m a businessman, so I’m used to dealing with friction.’ “
“Scaramucci said he intended to review the intelligence community’s evidence once he had his security clearance and pledged to give Trump his personal thoughts on the conclusions.”
Eli Watkins, “Trump still doesn’t accept intelligence conclusion on Russia,” CNN
I AM A BUSINESSMAN
(A spoken-word distribution of assets)
I am a businessman. I know profit and loss.
I enter the land of the bureaucrat. It is a place of squabbles and experts and no profit. I will end the squabbles, ignore the experts, and find the proper rate of return.
Others write memos. I broker ideas.
Others try to read the tea leaves. I buy the tea factory and turn it into condominiums.
The wounds are deep. I will bind the wounds and sell the used bandages as credit default swaps.
I am used to the uncertainty, the chaos, the shouting that turns other men meek. I may be losing my hearing.
I am a businessman who serves a businessman. That is, like, businessman-squared.
Pity those who have tried and failed to bring peace to the Middle East. I see the bids and asks across the Levant. I can spread the arbitrage from the Bosporus to the Khyber Pass.
Others bicker. I disrupt. Others cause friction. I smother all frictions with a kiss.
Others drown in the swamp. I wish them good fortune and move on. I order my staff to dredge the swamp for rare commodities.
I am an entrepreneur. I create from the nothingness. And then I borrow from that creation to create even more. I might be overleveraged.
I know how to wear a suit.
The tanks that are for thinking will bow before me, for I am a businessman and I can converse on television.
Others drown in the leaks. I see them as assets that must be rapidly depreciated.
I am an entrepreneur who serves an entrepreneur. We will rightsize the ship of state.
What does rightsize mean, exactly?
The liege I serve does more than mint coin. He is better than LeBron on the court, better than Brady on the gridiron, better than Betts on the diamond. He strides inside the Beltway like a colossus.
He does not only mint coin. He mints love. People love him. Some people love him. I will find the profit in that.
I am nothing without serving him. For I am a businessman serving a bolder, brasher businessman. He is not just a businessman, he is a brand. A beautiful brand that can be monetized. I am the brand whisperer.
I will solve everything. And then I will copyright it.
I am a businessman. I will make America great again. And then the swamp will feel foolish.
There is only the brand.
Call me Mooch.