A certain University of Maryland sorority member has a future in Hollywood, don’t you think? Just days after a Delta Gamma’s furious letter to her sisters — warning them to stop “being so [expletive] AWKWARD and so [expletive] BORING” at the Sigma Nu mixers — went viral, thanks to a leak to Deadspin.com, it has now been given a dramatic reading by actor Michael Shannon via the comedy site Funny Or Die. (Go check it out yourself, and sorry there’s no embed here: The vulgarity is front and center and, you know, family newspaper and all. You’ve been warned)

Michael Shannon (Sony Pictures Classics)

The Oscar nominee definitely gives it a Tarantino Noir feel, doesn’t he? Actually, we take that back: The letter author brought all of that to the work herself; Shannon just embodies it.

From the Diamondback Online: UMD community reacts to profane Delta Gamma email

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