“Fox is the jocks. MSNBC is the nerds. The bloggers are the goths. . . NPR is the table for kids with peanut allergies. Al Jazeera is the weird foreign exchange student nobody talks to. . . And print media, I didn’t forget you. You’re the poor kid who died sophomore year in a car crash. . . but cheer up, we dedicated the yearbook to you!”

— Conan O’Brien dissecting the ways in which the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner is just like your old high school cafeteria. Watch Conan’s full speech:

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Recap of the 2013 White House Correspondents’ Dinner

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