Stephen Colbert (Charles Norfleet/Getty Images)

Only Stephen Colbert can make fun of the pope. The late-night star’s joke targets at the Roman Catholic charity dinner in New York included Pope Francis (whom Colbert said “would’ve likely held the black-tie fundraiser at an iHop”) and Cardinal Timothy Dolan (according to Colbert, dressed like “flamboyant Zorro”). (AP)

Sorry, Kanye: Kim Kardashian really isn’t getting a star on the Walk of Fame anytime soon, even if you complain about it during a bizarre interview with Jimmy Kimmel. “We don’t have a category for reality stars on the Walk of Fame,” a spokesperson told the New York Daily News. “They’re not giving a performance, it’s just them going through their daily lives and rituals on TV.” (NYDN)

Another day, another teenybopper cancels on the Fillmore Silver Spring. Bieber-in-training/YouTube sensation Austin Mahone has postponed his entire tour (including the Fillmore next Wednesday) after coming down with a serious flu bug. At least that’s a more legit excuse than the Jonas Brothers, who bailed on their tour last week (scheduled to stop in Silver Spring on Monday) because of a “deep rift within the band.” (USA Today)

More Reliable Source: Michelle Obama; Michael Bay; Anthony Weiner; Tip and the Gipper; Kim Kardashian; Kerry Washington; Harry Belafonte; Female diplomats; Hillary Clinton