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What the naughty Secret Service Agents might have been listening to last week

DJ Gavin Holland (Photographer Sexy Fitsum) DJ Gavin Holland (Photographer Sexy Fitsum)

Another presidential trip, another Secret Service scandal. From Colombia to the Netherlands, some of folks charged with taking a bullet for the president are taking shots instead. Last Sunday near Amsterdam, a junior agent was found drunk and passed out in the hallway of the very hotel where the president was scheduled to arrive the next day. Apparently he and his buddies had been partying until 2 a.m. We asked another famous party starter, DJ Gavin Holland, co-founder of the long-standing Noveau Riche bashes at U Street Music Hall, to guess which songs the merry agents might have been pre-gaming to, because it sure wasn’t the “Battle Hymn of the Republic.”

1. “Friday On My Mind” — The Easybeats

“I heard this for the first time last night, my girlfriend and the lead singer of Shark Week (Ryan Hunter-Mitchell) were singing it at the top of their lungs.  It’s the perfect start to this soundtrack.”

2. “Bugatti” — Ace Hood ft. Future & Rick Ross

“I love the premise of this song.  Ace Hood is so talented — and so rich — that he unintentionally wakes up in the most expensive car in the world.  Our guy in the Secret Service had roughly the opposite experience.”

3.  “Teenage FBI”  Guided By Voices 

“The title of this track pretty much says it all.  It’s a classic indie rock song about self-loathing and paranoia, and Robert Pollard sings it so sweetly.”

4. “Doin’ My Job” — T.I.

“The old trick of taking a soulful vocal sample and pitching it up to helium extremes works so well here. When T.I. comes in, he sounds all the more serious asking you to get off his case.”

5. “WHERE YOU BEEN” — Antiserum x Mayhem x Gent & Jawns

“I’m almost certain that the agent(s) in question were listening to this when their judgment went to all hell.  Face-melting dutch synths, trap drums, London Symphony Orchestra strings, call it a day.”

6. “The Night You Can’t Remember” — The Magnetic Fields

“This is an extraordinarily tender tune.  The night the Secret Service agent can’t remember; the night his superiors can’t forget.”

7. “So American” — Portugal. The Man

“I was once walking through Zurich with some buddies, and as we passed some Swiss hipster and his girlfriend, they glanced at our legs and burst out laughing.  We were all wearing shorts.  That’s so American.”

8. “When The Night (feat. Jaw)” — Para One

“I’m a longtime fan of Para One and that whole Parisian crew.  Such a warm and inviting jam.”

9. “Turn My Brain Off” — DAT Politics

“Asking the listener to disable your brain — now that’s punk rock.  It sounds nuts at first glance, but don’t we all feel that way sometimes the morning after?”


RELATED: “Secret Service incident in Netherlands was on heels of car wreck during Obama’s Miami trip

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Helena Andrews-Dyer is the co-author of The Reliable Source. Follow her on Twitter @helena_andrews, and send your hot tips, sightings, and gossip to



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Helena Andrews-Dyer · March 28, 2014

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