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Which Washington bachelorette should Kris Humphries date?

Welcome to Washington, Kris Humphries.

Kim Kardashian’s ex (oh yeah, and he plays basketball, too) might have just signed a contract with the Wizards, but the soon-to-be Washington denizen is still a free agent in one respect — he’s reportedly single.

So in the spirit of helping out the new guy in town, we’re offering a few suggestions for eligible local ladies who might want to join him for a few evening strolls on the Mall or a dinner at Le Dip.

Photo by Evy Mages/FTWP (Evy Mages for The Washington Post)

The Kardash-alike — Local PR maven Lani Hay’s exotic looks and what Elle magazine dubbed “a mane of hair that rivals Kim Kardashian’s in its inky black glossiness” might remind Humphries of some of his ex’s better qualities. Like KiKi, Hay also has a taste for bling — the Palisades home where she throws VIP parties features a crystal-encrusted toilet.

(Agence France-Presse)

The anti-Kim — Perhaps Humphries would prefer someone absolutely nothing like his famous ex? Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-Hawaii) fits the bill: She’s tough (a combat veteran) and brainy (the youngest woman in Congress). And sex tapes? Please, she’s a politician.




Photo by Adam Olszweski/Bravo (Adam Olszweski/Bravo)

The reality TV vet —  Former “Real Housewife” Lynda Erkiletian could relate to Humphries in the only way someone who has survived the vagaries of reality TV can. Sure, the 50-something owner of a modeling agency might be a teensy bit older than the 29-year-old Wizard, but she’s done the May-December thing before: Her far-younger ex-boyfriend Ebong Eka was a staple of the short-lived DC Housewives franchise.


(Alastair Grant/Associated Press)

The athlete — Shared passions and interests are key for couples, making an athlete a good fit for Humphries. He and Venus Williams, the marquee player on the Washington Kastles, could attend each other’s games (adorable photo-op alert!) and bond over post-workout ice packs.


Read more  Reliable Source: 

Here’s how you make President Obama laugh

Chelsea Clinton shows up for jury duty and gets hounded by press

Forget Tinder — the White House correspondents’ dinner is the place to meet cute

Emily Heil is the co-author of the Reliable Source and previously helped pen the In the Loop column with Al Kamen.



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Helena Andrews-Dyer · July 16, 2014

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