There can be no doubt that Ruth Bader Ginsburg — comic book superhero, T-shirt hoarder, star of the whole Internet — is leading the pretend popularity contest for the Supreme Court Justice Most Likely to Get Her Own Reality Show. She’s already got a catchy nickname (The Notorious R.B.G.) and even a catchphrase (“The court, I fear, has ventured into a minefield.”). Add to that the fact that after having a stent implanted, the 81-year-old hopped right back on the bench five days later, and the zany plot points practically write themselves. If there is any member of the judicial branch whose daily minutiae deserves the small screen treatment, it’s Ginsburg, who doesn’t even have to make stuff up to achieve cult-like nonfictional star status. Here’s a rundown of what we know could actually happen:
6 a.m.: Wakes up like this.
6:05 a.m.: Googles herself. Becomes overwhelmed with search results. Then realizes Ruth Bader Ginsburg doesn’t know the meaning of overwhelmed.
7 a.m.: Hits some operatic high Cs in the shower while listening to “Scalia/Ginsburg.”
7:30 a.m.: Decides which frilly bib to wear with her judicial robes. Picks the lace one.
8 a.m.: High-fives her security detail.
9 a.m.: Bats down rumors of retirement by crushing it from the bench.
11 a.m.: Does 20 push-ups with personal trainer while dictating latest 35-page dissenting opinion in 10 minutes flat.
11:10 a.m.: Passes her BJF, Justice Antonin Scalia, in the marbled hallway and gives him a fist bump before handing him said dissent. Giggles the rest of the way to her chambers.
12 – 2 p.m.: Goes scrunchie shopping.
2:30 p.m.: Fact checks the latest YouTube tribute written in honor of said dissent.
3 – 6 p.m.: Lots more official stuff.
7 p.m.: Finds front-row seat at latest Washington opera/play/whatever just before the curtain raises.
7:05 p.m.: Promptly falls asleep.
8 p.m.: Wakes up and dares the folks sitting next to her to say something. They don’t.
10 p.m.: Grabs a fresh XXL “Notorious R.B.G.” shirt from the pile and hits the hay.
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