The Washington PostDemocracy Dies in Darkness

The Donald’s Trump-isms to become a book of poetry

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump hugs a U.S. flag at a campaign town hall meeting in New Hampshire in August. (Reuters/Brian Snyder)

If all the world’s a stage then even Donald Trump’s oral parade of braggadocio can qualify as poetry. At least that’s the art thesis behind Hart Seely’s new book, “Bard of the Deal,” a collection of poems created unwittingly by The Donald himself.

Culling from the seemingly endless real life examples of Trump speak — tweets, interviews, speeches, etc. — Seely turns the presidential candidate’s words into verse. Take for example Trump’s August appearance on “Meet the Press.” During the interview the real estate mogul defended himself against claims that he often speaks disparagingly about how the women who criticize him look. According to Trump “those women” attacked him first.

Seely turned Trump’s quote into a seven-line poem called “The Vicious Ones”:

I was attacked viciously
By those women,
Of course, it’s very hard for them
To attack me on looks,
Because I’m so good looking.
But I was attacked very viciously
By those women.

Bard of the Deal,” which includes 224 pages of more Trump as slam poet, will be published by HarrperCollins on Dec. 15, just in time for stocking stuffing and most likely a dismissive tweet from the big man himself.

Trump isn’t the only public figure to get the lyrical treatment. In 2010, Seely compiled “Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald H. Rumsfeld” from the former secretary of defense’s oral record. That collection included the excellent haiku-like “Needless to Say”:

Needless to say,

The president is correct.

Whatever it was he said.