A former reality TV star writes a salacious tell-all book about working in the Trump White House, and secretly records conversations on her way out the door? Obviously, late-night talk show hosts are going to have a field day.
In her book, Omarosa alleged that she saw Trump eat a piece of paper in the Oval Office.
Colbert: “Well, the hunt for Trump’s tax returns just got way grosser.”
Fallon: “On the bright side, that’s actually the healthiest thing he’s ever eaten.”
Kimmel: “When your presidential stationery is the back of a McDonald’s Extra Value Meal, things like that happen.”
Trump’s tweets that said, “Wacky Omarosa, who got fired 3 times on the Apprentice, now got fired for the last time. She never made it, never will. . . When Gen. Kelly came on board he told me she was a loser & nothing but problems. I told him to try working it out, if possible, because she only said GREAT things about me.”
Colbert: “You do realize that means you hired her four times, right?”
Kimmel: “Imagine how dumb the guy who hired her four times must feel right now. I wonder who that is.”
Meyers: “Actually, she did make it. You hired her for a job in the White House after she got fired three times on ‘The Apprentice.’ That’s like getting cut three times from the Mets and thinking, ‘I’m gonna try out for the Yankees.’”
Colbert: “She’s a loser who wouldn’t show up to work, but you kept her on cause she said nice things? What’s the interview process like there? ‘Okay, you’ll be working at the White House, lots of responsibility. So, first question: Do you think the president is a big handsome boy? Great. Okay, good, here’s your key card. And here are the launch codes.’”
The fact that people keep writing books about the White House.
Noah: “It is one of the great ironies of all time that the Trump presidency has given us more books than ever before. Which is a crazy thing, because this is a guy whose favorite thing to read is the Hooters T-shirt.”
Colbert: “Now we know for certain why Trump didn’t get a dog, because he knows the dog is just going to write a tell-all: ‘White House Broken: My Ruff Tenure as a Presidential Pet.’”
Omarosa’s recording from the Situation Room, where John Kelly fired her and dodged the question when she asked, “Is the president aware of what’s going on?”
Fallon: “Turns out any time somebody asks ‘Is the president aware of what’s going on?’ Kelly says, ‘Let’s not go down that road. It’s a dead end.’”
Noah: “John Kelly doesn’t sound that bad. If anything, he just sounds like a guy who had a lot more important things to do. He’s just like, ‘Look, I can’t have this conversation right now. The president accidentally swallowed the nuclear launch codes and we need to come up with some new ones ASAP.’”
The fact that the Situation Room is supposed to be extremely classified.
Meyers: “It’s the most secure area of the West Wing. Well, the second most secure.” (Photo of a sign that says “Melania’s Room: Keep Out!!!”)
Noah: “We don’t know what they use that room for in the Trump White House. I bet if we checked the security cam footage now, we’d just see Ben Carson sneaking in to take naps and Don Jr. going in there to practice his karate.”
The recording of the conversation between Trump and Omarosa after she was fired; he claimed he had no idea she was being let go and said, “I don’t love you leaving at all.”
Kimmel: “That’s some acting. I haven’t heard acting like that from a former reality TV star since Paris Hilton in ‘The Hottie and the Nottie.’”
Corden: “I wasn’t sure the recording was real or not — until the part where Trump admits he doesn’t know what’s going on in the White House. Then I knew it was solid.”
Colbert: “You’re the ‘you’re fired’ guy and you’re too scared to tell Omarosa she’s fired? ‘They fired you? Gosh darn it. Oh, cheese and crackers. I don’t love that you’re leaving, but I do love cheese and crackers . . . What were we talking about?’”
Noah: “For a man who lies as much as Trump, you think he’d be better at it . . . I wonder if he did this to people who got fired from ‘The Apprentice.’ If he also called them, he’s like, ‘Hey Gary [Busey], I just saw last night’s episode, what happened?! I didn’t know!'”
Fallon: “Trump is like your friend who pretends to be sad when plans get canceled. He’s like, ’What? You’re sick? You can’t do brunch? Oh, I don’t love that — I don’t love that at all. The brunch that’s 40 minutes away from my house? We’re going to have to cancel? Oh, no.”