What do you do when the person you’re dating says or does something racist? You can try to explain the prejudice and the privilege in racism. Me, I’d probably just dump him.

I once dated a white man who displayed a sneaky kind of racism. At first, I thought he just had a special appreciation for black cultures. Then I found out that he had a fetish for any non-white culture and their women. Dating him felt like being a prized collector’s item, displayed on a shelf.

Here’s the story of our time together.

Gethsemane Herron tells the story of dating a white man who fetishized her for her race. This story was originally performed and developed for Story District. (Lisa Bonos, Nicki DeMarco and Randolph Smith/The Washington Post)

A longer version of this story was performed at Story District‘s August show “Emotional Overload: Stories About Being Drunk with Power, Mad with Love or High on Life.”


Once I tell you this, will you still want to date me?

Want to be attractive to online daters? Be biracial.

The opposite of cat-fishing: When bad online profiles lead to good dates