When Aminatou Sow wants to be friends with someone, she makes her intentions clear. Something like: “Hi, I would like to court you in friendship. How do we make this happen?”

Sow and Ann Friedman, a woman she met while both were living in D.C. in their 20s, are now long-distance besties. (Sow lives in San Francisco; Friedman is in Los Angeles.) You might know them from their popular podcast, Call Your Girlfriend. They joined me on the Solo-ish podcast, to chat about the pleasure and pain of female friendships — from meeting someone and hitting it off; to co-opting mainstream holidays and making them into celebrations of friend love; to navigating the inevitable drifting-apart that happens as friends age, move away or just move on.

A long-distance bestie of my own, Alana Kadden Ballon, joined me on the podcast as well. Take a listen below (or subscribe on iTunes) to hear about how we converted a rivalry into friendship.

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