1. Fun fall activities, unlike those in other seasons, do not require a partner. One significant other cannot save you from a zombie. Haunted houses are made for big groups of friends. Safety in numbers! Get yourself a pack of pals to scream it out together. Your collective shrieks will echo better.
2. It’s best to carve your own pumpkin. In fact, pumpkin-carving with someone else sounds quite dangerous. One person starts out carving a cat, the other is convinced they’re cutting out a ghost. When you meet in the middle, there’s nothing but tears and pumpkin guts. No, thanks. Stick to one pumpkin per person.
3. There’s no pressure to come up with a clever couple costume. Couple costumes can be cute, but most of the time they’re pretty contrived. Imagine the conflict if one person wants to be Carrie, bloody dress and all, and the other wants to keep it low-key in a Big Lebowski bathrobe. That’s a bloodbath waiting to happen.
4. The fall movie schedule tends to be lackluster. There is no need to go on dates and sit through mediocre movies no one wants to see in the first place. (I’m looking at you, “The Accountant” and “Ouija: Origin of Evil.”) Doesn’t staying home and re-watching “Gilmore Girls” before the new episodes premiere on Netflix sound way more appealing?
5. You don’t have to share your candy with anyone — other than the neighborhood kids knocking on your door. No need to buy anything but your own favorites. The only downside is that there’s no one to eat the yellow Starburst.
6. It’s not cold enough to require snuggling up to someone to stay warm. It is still pretty early in cuffing season, so you have plenty of time to meet your future cuddle buddy. By December, sure, partner up — to have a date for every Christmas party and for the good of your own body temperature. Until then, you can get by with a light sweater and an extra blanket.
7. Enjoy the foliage on your own. Instead of having to walk faster or slower with someone else, just stroll at your own pace. Take in the beauty. Deep breaths. Ahh.
8. You can opt out of the fall frenzy completely. Maybe Halloween isn’t for you, and instead you’re counting down to Christmas. Dig out your ugliest Christmas sweaters and start your personal holiday movie marathons early — without a single protest.