Spin classes are hotter than ever. And with class prices soaring, some cash-strapped young professionals (ahem, me!) are asking how to get the most bang for their buck with each class visit. Here are some simple steps to make the most of that $25 to $39 investment:
Arrive to class 25 minutes early. Check-in with Derek at the front desk, then eat two bananas from the fruit bowl in the reception area.
Make small talk with Derek, discover you both grew up in Boston suburbs and live near 14th Street now.
Refill your water bottle. Drink the contents. Refill it again.
Take one bobby pin from the pot on the counter in the restroom. Stick it somewhere in your hair. It does not matter where.
Go into the spin class. Pedal, sweat, drink the water, cry a little, towel off, drink more water, high-five the instructor on the way out. Say “Great class, Jocelyn!” and mean it.
Refill your water bottle again. Eat another banana.
Discard the bobby pin. Shower. Use all bath products on offer, including but not limited to: shampoo, conditioner, moisturizing body butter, spray deodorant (it feels weird, but just go with it), Q-Tips and breath mints. Take a tampon for the road, just in case.
Grab three bobby pins from the vanity with hair dryers. Try that cool twisty thing you saw on Instagram last week. Find that twisty thing to be more complicated than it looked. Give up. Pocket the bobby pins.
Ask Derek if the apples in the fruit bowl by the locker room are local and organic. If so, eat one. If not, eat three. Discover that Derek’s shift has just ended; invite him out for coffee. Find that you and Derek share much more than an interest in exercise and a Boston-adjacent past. Agree to meet for dinner later that week.
(Note: If you do not click with Derek you will have to go back to class on another day of the week and see if you connect with Bryan, Chris or Jocelyn. Derek is a great guy, but you should only move forward with the following steps with someone you really connect with.)
Have dinner with Derek (or Bryan or Chris or Jocelyn). Feel your heart flutter when he hugs you goodnight at the end of the evening.
Date Derek for three to eight months until one of your leases is up. Move in together and continue fostering your budding relationship. Use your rent savings to buy a pasta maker and save for grad school. Have weekly spaghetti nights, followed by spin-class mornings. You now get the family discount.
Study for the GMAT while Derek is working on spin instructor training.
Ace the GMAT and enroll in a top-tier MBA program. Ask Derek to relocate to a new city, which has branches of the same spin cult.
Use your final year of school to develop a business plan for a new line of spin studios that is always stocked with local organic apples and has walls painted mint green. Vow to always keep bobby pins well-stocked. Collaborate with Derek, as he is your true partner in all senses.
Graduate with your MBA. Have a celebratory pasta-making night with Derek. Go to spin the next morning at a studio you do not own … for the last time.
Pitch your spin business plan to investors. Take in funding. Throw yourself into the work of opening your first studio in Denver, where you now live with Derek and your two sheep dogs. Spend an inordinate amount of time deciding between paint samples named Pistachio, Seafoam Plus and Gumdrop Green.
Open your first studio with a ribbon-cutting ceremony and a reception/class for investors. Take the class, taught by Derek. Sweat, drink water, cry tears of pride and joy, towel off, drink water, schmooze.
Launch an aggressive marketing campaign to grow your business. Put out a video that goes viral. Appear on the ninth hour of the “Today” show and talk about how amazing it is to have launched this business with the love of your life.
Sell out of your classes for the next six months. Take the profits and invest them in opening two more studios in Denver. Expand to six major cities over the next four years, then to second-tier markets over the following three.
Build the brand, add a line of water bottles, headbands, sports bras and socks. Meet one of the buyers for ShopBop on a flight out of LAX, form a bond, start working on a capsule collection of leggings to sell exclusively on their site.
Begin wholesaling leggings, then sports bras, then socks, out to Nordstrom, Spring and ShopBop. Spend less and less time spinning.
Support Derek as he writes a book on finding his center through the calming push of spin. Brainstorm titles with him, until he lands on “The Whir of the Wheel.”
Sell your share of the spin cult/legging/scented-candle empire. Buy a modest home in Malibu, where you and Derek retire.
Discard the bobby pins.