Technically, it’s spring — but there’s a winter storm heading toward the Washington area. Which means that there will likely be long lines in grocery stores, heavy traffic and a flurry of swiping on Tinder.
Getting snowed in with someone you like? Awesome. Getting snowed in with a one-night stand that’s suddenly a two-night situation you’d like to exit? There’s a mediocre rom-com all about that, and we stopped watching 20 minutes through.
Keeping in mind that early relationship predictions can be as volatile as a weather forecast — you might be expecting sunny skies only for a low-pressure system to swoop in, bringing clouds and rain. So here are a few things to consider before Netflix and chilling your way through a storm. And yes, we consulted one of The Post’s in-house meteorologists, Angela Fritz, while compiling this list:
1. Would you go on a day-long trip with this person? If that sounds fun, you’re in the clear to spend an undefined amount of time together.
2. When is the expected change from freezing rain and sleet to snow? You don’t want your lover to fall flat on his face, splayed out on the sidewalk, on his way to sweep you off your feet.
3. Do you have enough wine, snacks and toilet paper? What about something to make together, say an old family recipe or just really gooey brownies?
4. Now the actual Netflix. Could you agree on something to watch?
5. Who are we kidding: It’s not really about the Netflix. Do you have enough condoms?
6. What is the highest accumulation possible? If things go wrong, you don’t want to be literally snowed in with no way to escape. (See mediocre rom-com cited above.)
7. If the conversation were to dry up, and you’ve finished binging “The Crown,” and you’ve hit your capacity on physical activity, do you have any games to play? How about a podcast? Art project? Staring contest?
8. Are there any big questions you’ve always wanted to ask this person and haven’t felt you had the time or space to explore them? Now’s your moment. If you need a guide, there are always those 36 questions to fall in love.
9. If those conversations were to lead to a fight or deep boredom, how are you at making snow balls?
10. Do you have any love poetry or classic novels? The Post ran a story about a woman and her husband who read aloud to each other when she was sick — and she described the experience as akin to a vocal embrace. Sounds hot enough to make snow melt.
11. What if all of that fails? You can always help one another revamp your Tinder profiles and get back out there. We hear actual spring weather is just around the corner.