If you weren't watching Maryland Attorney General -- and 2014 gubernatorial hopeful -- Doug Gansler (D) trying to explain his attendance at a Delaware party where there might or might not have been underage drinking (hint: he now thinks there was), you missed one of the more jaw-dropping and torturous political press conferences in recent memory.

For those who don't have time to watch the entire affair, we decided to pluck a few of the most notable/damning quotes: