The State of the Union -- like the Oscars, the Super Bowl, inclement weather, and Republican primary debates -- tends to threaten the Internet with peak opinion in numbers that grow exponentially more terrifying each year. Here is an abridged round-up of said opinions, reduced to the most salient sentence of each argument.

Ron Fournier: "Is that all there is?"

Ed Rodgers: "The only surprise was that there were no surprises in the State of the Union address."

Carol E. Lee: "Weeks, if not months, of planning went into President Barack Obama’s much-anticipated State of the Union address Tuesday night, but the really hard part is just beginning."

Walter Shapiro: "For all of Obama’s rhetorical gifts, it was another speech that was mangled beyond recognition by the State of the Union sausage grinder."

Joan Walsh: "The GOP is splintering in real time, and that’s a bigger story than anything the president said in his 70-minute address."

Ted Cruz: "Of all the troubling aspects of the Obama presidency, none is more dangerous than the president's persistent pattern of lawlessness, his willingness to disregard the written law and instead enforce his own policies via executive fiat."

E.J. Dionne: "Anyone who saw class warfare here is spending too much time with Rush Limbaugh or Fox News."

Gary Younge: "The State of the Union confirmed only that our union is in a state."

Jonathan Capehart: "When it comes to the big speeches, President Obama doesn’t disappoint."

Stephen F. Hayes: "It was, in short, a small and rather incoherent speech from a president who seems unsure how to remain relevant on domestic policy and unsure what to do overseas."

Russell Berman: "Cory Remsburg stole the show at Tuesday’s State of the Union address.

Timothy Egan: "It’s certainly heartening to hear Obama, in full-throated defiance that is rare for him, proclaim, 'America will not stand still — and neither will I.'"

John Dickerson: "The MacGyver presidency is upon us."

David Corn: "Though Obama was in high spirits—enthusiastically defending Obamacare and fervently calling for raising wages for American workers—he did not wrap all of this in one overarching political narrative."

Jonah Goldberg: "My general impression was this was a remarkably boring speech, intellectually and rhetorically."

David Brooks: "I thought the whole thing was pretty Clintonian."

Jennifer Rubin: "The entire speech seemed like a cut and paste of old State of the Union speeches with a late rewrite, as if the White House figured out that 'opportunity' (the GOP term) polls better than 'inequality'(the base’s favorite).

Todd Purdum: "The State of the Union — as political event, public theater, real-time town hall or self-help reality show — has jumped the shark."

Ron Elving: The hand President Obama was playing in his latest State of the Union speech could scarcely be called a powerhouse.

Buzzfeed: "9 Things Joe Biden Did At The State Of The Union That Were More Interesting Than Obama’s Speech"