Vice President Joe Biden has been on the West Coast this week, and stopped in Portland on Wednesday to campaign with Sen. Jeff Merkley. While there, he stopped at Salt and Straw for his favorite campaigning ritual, ice cream. He got a scoop of "Chocolate Woodblock" (this is Portland) and a scoop of "Double-Fold Vanilla" after informing the owner that he was "an ice cream guy." The ice cream -- for him and Merkley -- cost $8 (this is Portland). As the photo above showed, he handed the server two tens, saying he was “the last of the big time spenders.”
He was wearing his aviators in the store for reasons that were not clear until the Associated Press took a photo of the vice president paying for his treat.
There are several Biden photo counterfeiters out on the Internet, but Biden scholars have determined the characteristics that separate a Joe Biden original from the imposters. First, there must be at least two things that are slightly off about the photo, that make the viewer shake his or her head in wonder and/or disbelief, or for a few obsessives, hyperkulturemia.
This photo would not be very interesting if Biden was just eating ice cream. There are plenty of photos of politicians eating ice cream out there.
Hillary Clinton eating ice cream in 2008 pic.twitter.com/054vCqorBT— Jennifer Epstein (@jeneps) October 9, 2014
Biden, who always talks about his "genuine love of ice cream," aspires to more than that. No, if he is going to eat ice cream, he is going to be photographed doing so with sunglasses on. While he flashes tens. It probably wasn't even on purpose, but he can't help it. We are not the first to notice this. There is a Tumblr called "Joe Biden Eats Ice Cream."
If he's going to get ice cream at a Dairy Queen, he's going to look at it like it is not only the first time he's ever seen ice cream before, but that he was just told that it is the best ice cream known to man. His utter amazement will force governors who otherwise look unremarkable eating ice cream to stare at Joe Biden's ice cream wondering what the big deal is (and lament the fact that it seems he picked the wrong flavor).
It definitely wasn't the first time he had been to a Dairy Queen in Ohio either. It wasn't even the first time he had been to a Dairy Queen in Ohio and acted like he was the king of the world, leading America to glory with a beacon of frosty hope.
I mean, he doesn't even need to have the ice cream. Just being near it is the best thing that has ever happened to him.
Because this is Joe Biden, we'd be remiss if we didn't mention the ice cream (or frozen custard) gaffes.
Apparently, Portland locals are equally unfamiliar with the vice president. One person said he looked like Bob Barker. As we mentioned, Biden academia is a very specialized field.
This post has been updated.