Okay. Let's talk about this ad.

In this radio ad, paid for by NARAL Pro-Choice Colorado, Republican senate candidate Cory Gardner (CO) is attacked for his stance on access to contraception. (NARAL Pro-Choice Colorado)

It's from NARAL Pro-Choice Colorado, and in case it wasn't obvious, it targets Republican Rep. Cory Gardner, whose advocacy of an antiabortion bill that might limit contraceptive use has become a staple of criticism, particularly from incumbent Sen. Mark Udall (D) (to the point of exhaustion) in their very competitive race.

But this NARAL ad? Oh boy.

First of all, this does not sound like a couple who is desperately searching for condoms. Perhaps the couple at issue is preparing some kind of disaster go-kit, and after crossing "canned beans" and "duct tape" off the list, were left only with "condoms." But people familiar with the intricacies of physical intimacy might recognize a certain lack of ... energy in the conversation. As the young people today might say, these people don't sound terribly thirsty.

Second of all, the woman in the ad has very little confidence in her partner. "Did you go to the drug store?" Oh, to search for condoms? Man, I didn't even think of that! I went to: a parking garage, the Liberty Bell and an elementary school, and nothing. But a drugstore! Brilliant!

Third of all, even if Cory Gardner wins, it seems unlikely that he will be able to single-handedly ban birth control. Perhaps the guy's complete lack of awareness of how basic politics works is why his partner thinks he's too stupid to think of checking drugstores for condoms.

Fourth, shut up about politics. You're about to have sex. Focus on that. Not: Before we engage in the physical act of love, let me mansplain about my support of Mark Udall. Perhaps this is some sort of fetish. If it is, please please please keep it off the radio.

Fifth: "Climate change, that everyone knows is (with emphasis) weirding our (emphasis) weather? ... Sweetpea, Cory denies science!" "Come on!" Dude's use of "weirding the weather" shows that he's paying very, very close attention to the preferred language of environmental activists, but the voice actor's careful articulation of the phrase suggests that using it in normal conversation is a bit like trying to work in some Latin.

Meanwhile, the woman's "come on" might, in another context, be interpreted as her tugging his arm toward the bedroom, frustrated that he's still blah blah blahing about Gardner. But in this context, we know it's her arms-folded amazement that Gardner denies science. "Come on!" she says to the person who is her lover. "That's unbelievable! Tell me more about his policy positions, but please continue to do so from the most liberal position possible." They're a fun couple.

Which is given away when he calls her "Sweetpea." No one says that. No one says "Sweetpea." I don't live in Colorado, but no one says that in Colorado. Maybe this guy is Popeye? But then he's talking to his child, not to Olive Oyl, and that's even more disturbing.

In conclusion, I did not like this ad and I hope that the characters in it do find effective birth control somewhere, because I would prefer they not procreate.