We're not going to make you wait for the star attraction.
That, as of Tuesday night's votes and eliding certain details, is the cultural portrait of America: the states where you can have a same-sex marriage performed while legally smoking marijuana -- and the three other types of state. Should you not be intimately familiar with the outlines of the American states (which you should be), we've also made a handy little map.
We've colored the states that allow same-sex marriages and either legal or medicinal marijuana blue for perhaps obvious reasons. (If not, see below.) (Also, an update: Did not realize that you can't smoke marijuana in Minnesota. So: You are warned!)
The newest addition to the group is Oregon, which approved legalized marijuana this week -- though it doesn't go into effect immediately. (Oh, and D.C. did, too, but it's too small to show up on the map. Sorry, D.C.!) The rapid expansion of same-sex marriage has meant the inclusion of some red states that probably would not have rushed to embrace the practice were it not for judicial decisions. And the states that allow marijuana are largely mixed. The states that allow both, though, are all blue states in the voted-for-Obama-in-2012-even-if-they-might-not-today variety, save Arizona.
Those are also the country's most populous states. Well over half of the country can do one or the other of these things; over a third live in states where both are legal.
One of the remarkable things about Election Night was the split between Republican electoral success and the success of more progressive policy measures: marijuana expansion and increases to the minimum wage.
As the Venn diagram suggests, the states are not quite the solidly colored monoliths that we often think -- as we saw on Tuesday.
Update: Post pollster Scott Clement notes that the national exit polls conducted Tuesday included questions about gay marriage and legal marijuana. Which allows us to compare the extent to which people support same-sex marriage, marijuana, both and neither with how many people actually live in places that fit into those categories.
More people live in states that allow both than actually support both. But about the same number of people oppose both as live in states that oppose both, which seems about right.
Update: Same-sex marriage is now legal in Missouri, so we've updated this.